My Catholic Guilt Vs. Murder

I just read this article on an upsetting film about a pedophile priest and the seemingly indifferent bishops who covered for him and allowed him to molest more boys. Besides making me angry at the Bishops and the hierarchy in general, it reminded me of an unresolved conflict in my own life.

I was raised a Catholic. My mother was more tolerant of other faiths than many Catholics of that time, but still she often expressed fears that I would leave the Church and thus be locked out of Heaven forever. She passed away several years ago. Since then I have, indeed, left the Catholic Church. While I never believed the part about apostate Catholics going to Hell, I still feel guilty about leaving, and worse, raising my mother's grandchildren as Protestants.

But really, I can't raise them as Catholics, for three reasons. One is, we live in the Bible Belt. The nearest Catholic church is so far away that attending every week, or even every month, would be impossible. Even if my children were Catholic they would barely be aware of it. We can't afford to move.

Then there is my dear, beloved husband. He was raised a Southern Baptist, and loves their energetic sermon style. He thinks of hearing Mass as something like getting anesthetized for major surgery, only in big, hard chairs. I could not count on his support in prying the kids out of bed for church.

As a Catholic I knew a number of priests. I know how the celibacy rule tends to winnow out straight men, at least those with a healthy attitude toward women. I have seen how the priesthood is attractive to some young homosexual men. They are attracted for many reasons, but some think that as a priest they will be given the strength not to practice their sexuality. They see the priesthood as the only way for them to be in a state of grace with the Church and thus with God. When the temptations multiply but the strength never comes it's not surprising that some become twisted into pedophiles.

So here's my third reason. The real clincher. We have a young son. He's very handsome, even if I say so myself. Given what I know about the pressures of the priesthood I would feel compelled, in the spirit of fairness, there is something I would have to say to the priest before I joined the church. It would be along the lines of, "If you have any tendancy toward pedophilia, please leave this parish now. I'm considering joining. If my husband finds out you're even thinking of molesting our son he will likely kill you. And, God help me, I'm not sure I'd want to stop him." But how in the world could I say that? and how could I not?

Cameras on Ambulances

Last week was rough for my family. My son fell sick and had to be taken to the hospital in an ambulance. Thankfully all turned out well and apparently he wasn't seriously ill. But riding in the ambulance gave me a new perspective on unthoughtful drivers.

The ambulance was running with sirens and lights, but many drivers refused to pull over. They just stayed in front of the ambulance, slowing us down. I oculd understand if heavy traffic had blocked the right lane. But this was quite early, before the moring rush, and it would have been easy to move to the right lane and pull over. It was bad enough. What if my son had been more ill, and died because these drivers kept him from getting to the hospital in time? I'm sure it's happened more than once to others.

Obviously too many people care more about getting to their destination on time more than they care about the welfare of others. So let's do something about it. Let's install a camera on each ambulance, like the ones police cars have. Run these while the ambulance moves, but set up the camera so that if the ambulance is blocked by a car the camera will focus on the car's licence plate. Photos of the car, and the plate, could then be transmitted to any police in the vicinity, who would give the ambulance time to move on then find the driver and present him with an expensive ticket.

I realize this would be one more job for our already overburdened police. But hopefully just knowing that they're being watched, and that a considerable fine awaits would make some people take a few seconds to pull over. And something needs to be done. No matter where the driver is going, even if his job is on the line, it's not worth a human life. Especially the life of a child.